“Engvall and his buddy get off a boat with a big string of bass.
On-looker: You catch all them fish?
Engvall: Nope, talked 'em into givin' up. Here's your sign.”

— Bill Engvall

Here's Your Sign Reloaded (2003)
Here's Your Sign

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Bill Engvall 71

American comedian and actor 1957

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“Engvall is in the park flying a kite with his son.
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“Engvall pulls his car into a gas station after his tire goes flat.
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“Engvall and his wife are packing up their stuff to move, with a U-Haul sitting in their driveway.
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“Engvall has an elk hung on the wall.
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“at the Engvalls' home, Travis is about to play on the piano.
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“Engvall's car breaks down on a highway, there's smoke pouring out of the hood, and a motorist stops to help him.
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“Engvall and his wife have, for three days, had a cement truck in their yard to re-do their porch.
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“Engvall: Yesterday, my son was out in the yard playing with his friend, and he hit his friend. I walked up to him, and I said, "Hey…" (pantomimes hitting his son) "We don't hit". He looked at me like, "Here's your sign, Dad".”

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“On the phone with his wife when the plane he was on stopped after hitting a deer.
Engvall: When we landed on the runway, we hit a deer with our airplane. You can't make this up. And it killed the deer, it wrecked the engine. We had to evacuate the plane. But the plane was so small it didn't have slides. The flight attendant said "Just step out." So they put us in a van and they're busing us back to the terminal and I'm laughing at this point because this is the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life. And I got back to the terminal, I called my wife. I said "Baby, you're not gonna believe this. We just hit a deer with our airplane". There was a pause on the other end of the line, followed by…
Gail: Oh my God! Were you on the ground?

Engvall: Nope, Santa was making one last run! Here's your sign.”

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