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Ted Kooser 1
American poet 1939Related quotes

“Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, extortion day. ”

“Oh, what a day. I will make it a holiday.”

“In a recent Valentine's Day posting on her fan website, Britney Spears says that…oh, who cares?”
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/04/04mupdate.phtml
Weekend Update samples

President Barack Obama, during the 2009 White House Correspondents Dinner. http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/remarks-president-white-house-correspondents-association-dinner-592009
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Coming Out Speech (2014)
Context: There are too many kids out there suffering from bullying, rejection, or simply being mistreated because of who they are. Too many dropouts. Too much abuse. Too many homeless. Too many suicides. You can change that and you are changing it. But you never needed me to tell you that. That’s why this was a little bit weird. The only thing I can really say is what I’ve been building up to for the past five minutes. Thank you. Thank for inspiring me. Thank you for giving me hope, and please keep changing the world for people like me. Happy Valentine’s Day. I love you.

Waiting for the Olympians (p. 255)
Platinum Pohl (2005)