Steve Martin citations

Page 3

“She was feeling her bohemian oats.”

“How many people have never raised their hand before?”

“…when the person beside you is making you alert and keen and the idea of being with anyone else is not imaginable…”

“Mirabelle is attractive; it's just that she is never the first or second girl chosen.”

“Anyway, seeking work is a tad difficult given the poor design of the streets with their prohibitive curbs and driveways that don't quite line up.”

“I just believe that the interesting time in a career is pre-success, what shaped things, how did you get to this point?”

“Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey”

“His view of the world is one that keeps his blood pressure low, sweeping the cholesterol from his relaxed, freeway-sized arteries. Everyone knows he is going to live till age ninety, although the question that goes begging is, “for what?”

“So, I can hurt now, or hurt later.”

“I just gave my cat a bath. Now how do I get all this fur off my tounge?”

“Unlike Ray Porter, his love is fearless and without reservation.”

“(Audience member): What's your mood watch say?”

“People come up to me and say "Steve, what is film editing?" And I say "How should I know? You're the director."”

“It was so sweet backstage, you should have seen it — The Teamsters were helping Michael Moore into the trunk of his limo.”

“The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need. My name in print. That really makes somebody. Things are going to start happening to me now!”

“(Martin): Yeah, I remember when I had my first beer.”

“It's so hard to believe in anything anymore, you know what I mean? It's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, 'cause it seems so mythological, and seems so arbitrary; and then on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. – I guess I wouldn't believe in anything if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.”

“All of a sudden I had to remember some words that Marlowe had told me over fifteen years ago: 'Dead men don't wear plaid.' Hmm… Dead men don't wear plaid. I still don't know what it means.”

“Hosting the Oscars is like making love to a beautiful woman — it's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal's out of town.”

“You kill me and I'll see that you never work in this town again.”