Seth Grahame-Smith citations

“Judge us not equally, Abraham. We may all deserve hell, but some of us deserve it sooner than others”

“Elizabeth: "Your balls, Mr. Darcy?"
Darcy: "They belong to you, Miss Bennett.”

“Without death,' he answered, 'life is meaningless. It is a story that can never be told. A song that can never be sung. For how would one finish it?”

“Of all the weapons she had commanded, Elizabeth knew the least of love; and of all the weapons in the world, love was the most dangerous.”

“The day Henry made a choice… that some men are just too interesting to die.”

“Of all the weapons in the world, love is the most dangerous.”

“The business of Mr. Bennett's life was to keep his daughters alive. The business of Mrs. Bennett's was to get them married.”

“put the car in "d" set the compass to "n" and get the "f"out of there”

“No ninjas! How was that possible? Five daughters brought up at home without any ninjas! I never heard of such a thing. Your mother must have been quite a slave to your safety.”

“Elizabeth lifted her skirt, disregarding modesty, and delivered a swift kick to the creature's head.”

“I fear that a life of death has made me numb to both.”

“Thank you, sir, but I am perfectly content being the bride of death.”

“Real power comes not from hate, but from truth.”

“Most men have no purpose but to exist, Abraham; to pass quietly through history as minor characters upon a stage they cannot even see”

“The more precious His gift, the more anxious God for its return.”

“I would much prefer their minds to be engaged in the deadly arts than clouded with dreams of marriage and fortune, as your own so clearly is!”

“Some people say "if we split up, we can cover more ground"-with blood”

“So long as this country is cursed with slavery, so too will it be cursed with vampires.”

“Contrary to his infallibly "honest" image, Abe wasn't above lying so long as it served a noble purpose.”

“But I am happy. And happiness, I have decided, is a noble ambition.”

“On the contrary, there is something pleasing about his mouth when he
speaks. And there is something of dignity in the way his trousers cling to those most English parts
of him.”

“Elizabeth sheathed her sword, knelt behind him, and strangled him to death with his own large bowel.”

“Abraham," he said. "I'm pleased to see you alive, old friend."
"And I to see you dead.”

“However, it has long been said that "my enemy's enemy is my friend.”

“The true roll in determing to embrace or reject anything is not whether it have any evil in it but whether it have more of evil than of good. There are few things wholly evil or wholly good.”

“I leave you, hoping that the lamp of liberty will burn in your bosoms until there shall no longer be a doubt that all mean are created free and equal.”