Milton Berle citations

“Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.”

“You don't need to travel, laughter is an instant vacation”

“If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door”

“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”

“I'd rather be a 'could-be' if I cannot be an 'are' because a 'could-be' is a 'maybe' who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a 'has-been' than a 'might-have-been' by far; for a 'might-have-been' has never been, but a 'has' was once an 'are.”

“We owe a lot to Thomas Edison-if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.”

“I'm 83, and I feel like a 20-year-old, but unfortunately there's never one around.”

“All I can say is at 82, if I had it to live over again, I'd live it the same, sweet — or not so sweet — way. At 82, I feel like a 20-year-old. But unfortunately, there's never one around.”