John Morrison citations

“CM Punk playing Skee-Ball at Chuck E. Cheese is never going to reach the intellectual heights and experience the life that John Morrison experiences and, therefore, he will never know what to do in the ring against John Morrison.”

“CM Punk, I suggest cashing in your tickets at Chuck E. Cheese for a replica ECW Championship because that’s the closest you’re ever going to get to the gates of paradise.”

“We don't play with action figures at the Palace Of Wisdom.”

“We can't smell what The Rock is cookin' at the Palace of Wisdom.”

“Look, Maria. I know what you're thinking. I don't bring girls that look like you home to the Palace of Wisdom. But that doesn't mean you can't dream about it.”

“We don't drink diet soda at the Palace of Wisdom, Punk!”

“We don't have worms at the Palace of Wisdom.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the reason you're all here tonight, the new face of extreme, the man who defeated CM Punk in the middle of the ring at the Great American Bash, the greatest ECW champion of all time… John Morrison.”

“We do have jackets like that at the Palace of Wisdom.”

“The problem with Punk and the straightedge lifestyle is that he doesn’t experience the things that John Morrison experiences.”

“We don't need sexual performance enhancers at the Palace of Wisdom… but we use them anyway.”

“We don't dance with leprechauns at the Palace of Wisdom.”

“We don't get Top Rope Theatre at the Palace of Wisdom”

“I am the guru of greatness, the shaman of sexy, the ECW champion John Morrison. I am beyond good and evil, a portal to the infinite. Punk, you are temporary, fleeting, a footnote to an average reality. You want me to embarrass you at SummerSlam? Is that it? Then go ahead, sign it, but the fact is you can't handle the pressure, Punk. You couldn't handle being the ECW champion.”

“Some are born to sweet delight and others born to endless night.”

“If Santa came to the Palace of Wisdom, we'd beat him up with candy canes.”

“We don't allow sludge at the Palace of Wisdom”

“You know what, Punk? You been knockin' at my door at the palace of wisdom ever since I became the ECW champion. But sittin' right there with your lame tattoos and that little chair is as close as you're ever gonna get to earthly paradise.”

“We don't let nerds hang out at the Palace of Wisdom.”

“Well think about it, Punk. Think about it before you sign that. Last week, you couldn't even last fifteen minutes in the ring with the new face of extreme, the Tuesday night delight, John Morrison.”

“Teddy Long could never hang out at the Palace of Wisdom..”

“You're dying to spend a night with me in the Palace of Wisdom. (to Kelly Kelly)”

“We hang out with Mr. Fuji at the Palace of Wisdom.”

“At the Palace of Wisdom they don't send a boy to do a man's job, they send The Shaman; the Shaman of Sexy. (in reference to Shawn Michaels and his theme song referring to himself as a Sexy Boy)”

“Roll ups don't exist at the Palace of Wisdom”

“We date real women in the Palace of Wisdom.”

“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth. the truth is WWE Universe loves John Morrison”

“John Morrison: Shawn Michaels, Triple H, In life there are winners and there are Losers, and this monday night at Raw we are gonna have two words for you…. (with The Miz) Be Jealous!”