Brian P. Cleary citations

“A good friend will help you plant your tulips. A great friend will help you plant a gun on the unarmed intruder you just shot.”

“It’s not technically gossip if you start your sentence with “I’m really concerned about __________________,” (fill in the name of the person you’re not gossiping about).”

“Any cupcake consumed before 9AM is, technically, a muffin.”

“Not only is love blind, it’s a little hard of hearing.”

“When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon.”

“If a couple has their picture taken at a wedding or other social gathering, and the woman looks hot, her guy could be blinking, chewing, or even mid-sneeze, and she’ll still display it on her desk at work.”