Terry Pratchett: Trending quotes

Terry Pratchett trending quotes. Read the latest quotes in collection
Terry Pratchett: 1592 quotes906 likes

“Cats don't hunt seals. They would if they knew what they were and where to find them. But they don't, so that's all right.”

Terry Pratchett book The Unadulterated Cat

The Unadulterated Cat (1989)

“Up until now I'd always thought RSI meant 'I hate my damn job.”

Terry Pratchett

Usenet

“Keep 'em busy. That was one of the three rules of being chief that old Grimm had passed on to him. Act confidently, never say 'I don't know,' and when all else fails, keep 'em busy.”

Terry Pratchett book The Carpet People

The Carpet People (1971; 1992)

“Whose side are they on?' said Brocando.
'Sides? Their own, I suppose, just like everyone else.”

Terry Pratchett book The Carpet People

The Carpet People (1971; 1992)

“The net software here did its meltdown trick again at the weekend (it happens about once every six months -- if only everything was as reliable as WordPerfect 4.2, which only chews up a novel about once every two or three years…)”

Terry Pratchett

Usenet

“Death isn't online. If he was, there would be a sudden drop in the death rate. Although it'd be interesting to see if he'd post things like: DON'T YOU THINK I SOUND LIKE JAMES EARL JONES?”

Terry Pratchett

Usenet

“I'd like to stand up for the rights of people who put everything on their burger -- chutney, mustard, pickle, mustard pickle, tomato sauce… It is common knowledge in my family that I can't tell the difference between a veggie burger and a meat one, because the ratio of burger to pickles is so high. [either misquoted or mis-thought, since not to be able to tell would mean the burger:pickles ratio is so low]”

Terry Pratchett

Usenet

“Dickens, as you know, never got round to starting his home page.”

Terry Pratchett

alt.fan.pratchett (8 August 1997) http://www.lspace.org/ftp/words/pqf/pqf <br class="br">Usenet

“I don't believe. I never have, not in big beards in the sky.”

Terry Pratchett

"I create gods all the time - now I think one might exist" (2008)

“Everyone's heard of Erwin Schrodinger's famous thought experiment. You put a cat in a box with a bottle of poison, which many people would suggest is about as far as you need to go.”

Terry Pratchett book The Unadulterated Cat

The Unadulterated Cat (1989)

“Out of Print" is bookseller speak for "We can't be hedgehogged.”

Terry Pratchett

Usenet

“Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb -- they're often students, for heaven's sake.”

Terry Pratchett

Usenet

“Oh, come on. Revelation was a mushroom dream that belonged in the Apocrypha. The New Testament is basically about what happened when God got religion”

Terry Pratchett

Usenet

“I mean, I wouldn't pay more than a couple of quid to see me, and I'm me.”

Terry Pratchett

Usenet

“Waiting is the worst part,' said Pismire.
'No it isn't,' said Owlglass, who wasn't even being trusted to hold a sword. 'I expect that having long sharp swords stuck in you is the worst part.”

Terry Pratchett book The Carpet People

The Carpet People (1971; 1992)

“No, I happen to be one of those people whose memory shuts down under pressure. The answers would come to me in the middle of the night in my sleep! Besides, I am a millionaire.”

Terry Pratchett

Response to a question asking if he would appear on Who Wants To Be a Millionaire. ALCS News http://www.alcs.co.uk/News%20Events/ALCS%20News/News%20Stories/TerryPratchettInterview.aspx?template=/printerfriendly/alcs-newspf.aspx (May 2006) <br class="br">General sources

“I know it's a very human thing to say 'Is there anything I can do', but in this case I would only entertain offers from very high-end experts in brain chemistry.”

Terry Pratchett

after announcing his Alzheimer&#x27;s diagnosis. http://edition.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/books/12/13/terry.pratchett <br class="br">Misc

“When they're standing right in front of you, kings are a kind of speech impediment.”

Terry Pratchett book The Carpet People

The Carpet People (1971; 1992)

“I would just like to draw attention to everyone reading the above that this should be interpreted as 'I am not dead'. I will, of course, be dead at some future point, as will everybody else.”

Terry Pratchett

http://edition.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/books/12/13/terry.pratchett
Misc