Sophie Kinsella: Likeness

“Life would be a lot easier if conversations were rewindable and erasable, like videos. Or if you could instruct people to disregard what you just said, like in a courtroom.”

“It's like I'm thirteen again and he's my crush. All I'm aware of in this entire roomful of people is him. Where he is, what he's doing, who he's talking to.”

“We're playing Scrabble. It's a nightmare."

"Scrabble?" He sounds surprised. "Scrabble's great."

"Not when you're playing with a family of geniuses, it's not. They all put words like 'iridiums'. And I put 'pig'.”

“Of all the crap, crap, crappy nights I've ever had in the whole of my crap life. On a scale of one to 10, we're talking… a minus 6. And it's not like I even have very high standards.”

“Life is like an escalator. You see, it carries you on regardless. And you might as well enjoy the view and seize every opportunity while you're passing. Otherwise, it'll be too late.”

“There's nothing like your mother's sympathetic voice to make you want to burst into tears.”

“I know what it's like to squander all your hours and all your tears and all your heart on something which turns out to be nothing. Don't waste your time.”

“Emma, I'm sorry, I can't help you. This is a disaster. You're completely vulnerable. It's like going into battle in a nightie.”

“Me too." I agree fervently. "Every film should definitely have a message."

Which is true. I mean… take the Lord of the Rings movies- they've got loads of messages. Like "Don't lose your ring.”

“Knowing a person isn't like knowing a string of facts. It's more like… a feeling.”

“Every time I mention her, Magnus says, "Are you two getting along?" in raised, hopeful tones, like we're endangered pandas who need to make a baby.”

“Carried away.
He got a little carried away.
This is like saying Hitler was a tad aggressive.”

“I'm sitting at the dinner table, wearing my future mother-in-law's underwear. It's like some twisted dream that you wake up and thinkL Crikey Moses! Thank God that didn't really happen!”

“Why didn't I buy a new phone earlier? Why don't I always walk around with a spare phone? It should be the law, like having a spare tire.”

“I bet he never goes on YouTube. He's too busy. It's only tragic cases like you and me who are always online.”