Lily Tomlin: Trending quotes

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Lily Tomlin: 116 quotes2 likes

“Your problem is your role models were models.”

Contributions of Jane Wagner, The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe (1985)

“If evolution was worth its salt, it should've evolved something better than "survival of the fittest." I think a better idea would be "survival of the wittiest." At least, that way, creatures that didn't survive could've died laughing.”

Lily Tomlin

As "Trudy"
Contributions of Jane Wagner, The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe (1985)

“When you're dancing the mystical dance of the molecules, you're not the one who's leading.”

Lily Tomlin

As "Trudy"
Contributions of Jane Wagner, The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe (1985)

“The point I want to make is, the idea that people will say — out of the 170,000 people or however many were killed in the tsunami — they'll say, "God saved me." As if God particularly saved this person. There's a tremendous amount of narcissism in that belief, that God is speaking directly to you. I mean, it's unbelievable. … All these disparate opinions and points of view that people say they're getting as direct divine guidance — I've been concerned for decades about presidents who claim to be born again. And knowing that everyone I knew in the fundamentalist church or in the evangelical Christian church — they wanted the rapture to come. … We don't have to save the environment, because we're not going to be around.”

Lily Tomlin

The Advocate interview (2005)

“I've seen these women all my life, I know how they walk, I know how they talk…”

Lily Tomlin

Response after being asked how she felt playing a heterosexual in Nashville, on her album Modern Scream (1975)

“I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves… I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.”

Lily Tomlin

As quoted in Variety magazine (2003)

“I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you.”

Lily Tomlin

Contributions of Jane Wagner, The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe (1985)

“Interviewer: You once said you had a drug problem…
Lily: Yeah, I still do. It's so hard to find good grass these days.”

Lily Tomlin

Contributions of Jane Wagner

“There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.”

Lily Tomlin

As Judith Beasley in The Incredible Shrinking Woman (1981)

“If you can't be direct, why be?”

Lily Tomlin

Recounting what a college classmate said to her when she was acting "insecure and wimpy", as quoted at Tomlin's official site. http://www.lilytomlin.com/lily/quotes.htm

“If the formula for water is H2O, is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?”

Lily Tomlin

Contributions of Jane Wagner

“We went to a Southern Baptist church. When I was a small child, until I was about 8 or 9 years old, I worried if I didn't go forward and get saved every Sunday — which I couldn't do, it was absolutely too humiliating to see these adults flailing and beating their breasts and sobbing, and I thought, Oh, my God, this is so ridiculous, so embarrassing — I could never bring myself to go forward. And I'd think, Oh, my God, if I don't go next Sunday, if the end of the world comes, I'll go to hell. And that's is a pretty hard thing for a 7- or 8-year-old to carry all the time”

Lily Tomlin

The Advocate interview (2005)

“People think there's some real subversive thing playing against whoever it is; a lot of it is just people who want to go along and get along. And they also want to make money. And the bottom line is, they're going to put out as much stuff as they can — stupid, banal stuff that makes money.”

Lily Tomlin

The Advocate interview (2005)

“If I had known what it would be like to have it all… I might have been willing to settle for less.”

Lily Tomlin

As "Lyn"
Contributions of Jane Wagner, The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe (1985)

“All my life, I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.”

Lily Tomlin

As "Chrissy"
Contributions of Jane Wagner, The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe (1985)

“For fast acting relief, try slowing down.”

Lily Tomlin

Contributions of Jane Wagner

“Some journalists are just motivated by their own sense of what they want to say or what they feel comfortable saying or writing about. In '77, I was on the cover of Time.”

Lily Tomlin

The same week I had a big story in Newsweek. In one of the magazines it says I live alone, and the other magazine said I live with Jane Wagner. Unless you were so really adamantly out, and had made some declaration at some press conference, people back then didn't write about your relationship.
Metro Weekly interview (2006)

“And that's the truth!”

Lily Tomlin

Closing line of her skits as "Edith Ann", on Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In (1969 - 1973), and in later productions.