James Berardinelli: Movie (page 3)

“I can't figure out who might appreciate this movie. Those who are expecting to sit back, stop thinking, and watch cool wall-to-wall battles are going to be disappointed. Those who yearn for a movie to recapture the long-lost horror and glory of the original creatures are going to be borderline suicidal. … Simply put, [Alien vs. Predator: Requiem] is trash.”

James Berardinelli

Review http://www.reelviews.net/php_review_template.php?identifier=593 of Alien vs. Predator: Requiem (2007).
One-star reviews

Disappointment , Thinking , Suicide

“This is the fourth film from hot Swedish director Lukas Moodysson. Two of his previous three movies, Show Me Love and Lilya 4-Ever, made my year-end Top 10 lists. So it was with great anticipation that I settled into a seat on the first Friday night of the 2004 Toronto Film Festival to see A Hole in My Heart. 98 minutes later, I felt like I had been dragged through a vat of raw sewage laced with Sominex - Directed by Lukas Moodysson.”

James Berardinelli

Review http://www.reelviews.net/php_review_template.php?identifier=935 of A Hole in My Heart (2004).
Zero star reviews

Love , Heart , Night

“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen will make a ton of money, Michael Bay will be lauded as the greatest director of our generation, and the accountants at Paramount will have their second collective orgasm in as many months. As for me, I will try desperately not to weep — not so much for what the success of a movie like this means to motion pictures, but for the simple fact that I'm going to have to do this all over again in two or three years for Transformers 3.”

James Berardinelli

Review http://www.reelviews.net/php_review_template.php?identifier=1695 of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009).
One-and-a-half star reviews

Money , Revenge , Success

“Aside from a couple of signature flourishes, there's nothing to mark Paycheck as the product of acclaimed action director John Woo. In fact, there's little about this movie that makes it worth anyone's time and money. With a script that waffles between being hilariously absurd and insultingly stupid, and action scenes that won't cause anyone's pulse to skip a beat, Paycheck is less appealing than a lump of coal in a Christmas stocking.”

James Berardinelli

Review http://www.reelviews.net/movies/p/paycheck.html of Paycheck (2003).
One-and-a-half star reviews

Money , Stupidity , Time , Christmas

“When a movie is this bad, it's hard to adequately describe its awfulness in words. The temptation exists to write something along the lines of: "Something this horrible has to be seen to be believed." Of course, that kind of advice would lead to e-mail death threats and other assorted nasty comments from those who spend money on The Devil's Rejects. … Aside from its poor production values, horrendous acting, and ignoble morality, The Devil's Rejects isn't engaging cinema. Even if the simple act of sitting in a movie theater watching people get hacked up for 90 minutes doesn't bother you, the dullness and repetition is likely to.”

James Berardinelli

Review http://www.reelviews.net/php_review_template.php?identifier=934 of The Devil's Rejects (2005).
Half-star reviews

Death , Money , People

“It's really two movies crammed into one, the first of which is a lot better than the second. Spider-Man 3 starts out strong but before it finishes, many viewers will desperately wish it had called it quits an hour earlier.”

James Berardinelli

Review http://www.reelviews.net/php_review_template.php?identifier=573 of Spider-Man 3 (2007).
Two star reviews

Strong

“On those rare occasions when a great motion picture reaches multiplexes, the film critic must add another aspect to his or her job description: that of cheerleader. It is incumbent upon those of us who routinely dissect movies to applaud the arrival of something like Minority Report.”

James Berardinelli

Writing a review isn't enough — we have to get out there and actively stump for the movie. The underlying reason is sound: if Minority Report makes a lot of money, the studios will be encouraged to fashion more films of this sort. And that is a good thing — not just for science fiction lovers but for fans of intelligent, thought-provoking pictures of all genres.
Review http://www.reelviews.net/movies/m/minority_report.html of Minority Report (2002).
Four star reviews