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Dara Ó Briain Quotes

Dara Ó Briain is an Irish comedian and television presenter based in the United Kingdom and Ireland. He is noted for hosting topical panel shows such as Mock the Week, The Panel, and The Apprentice: You're Fired!. His TV work also includes starring in and writing of television comedy and documentary series. Ó Briain has also been a newspaper columnist, with pieces published in national papers in both Britain and Ireland.

In 2009, the Irish Independent described Ó Briain as "Terry Wogan's heir apparent as Britain's 'favourite Irishman'" and in 2010, Ó Briain was voted the 16th greatest stand-up comic on Channel 4's 100 Greatest Stand-Ups.

✵ 4. February 1972
Dara Ó Briain photo
Dara Ó Briain: 11   quotes 0   likes

Famous Dara Ó Briain Quotes

“I'm not a religious man, right, I don't even believe in God. But still Catholic, obviously.”

Dara Ó Briain

Dara Ó Briain: Live at the Theatre Royal (2006)

“Here's my favorite little fact. If anyone is ever described to you as a nutritionist, just be slightly wary, right? What they're saying may be perfectly true, but "nutritionist" isn't a protected term. Anyone can call themselves a nutritionist. "Dietician" is the legally protected term. "Dietician" is like "dentist", and "nutritionist" is like "tooth-i-ologist.”

Dara Ó Briain

Dara Ó Briain Talks Funny: Live in London (2008)

“I said "Anyone Jewish here?" and someone goes "I'm Jewish!" and I said … "And what year is this now in the Jewish calendar?" And she goes, "Er, I wasn't expecting questions, to be honest…"—and then turned to her presumably gentile friend and had a bit of a natter—and then came back with the single finest answer I have ever heard from a member of an audience, where, without any shame at all, she just went, "Yeah, it's the Jewish Year of the Rat."”

Dara Ó Briain

Dara Ó Briain: Live at the Theatre Royal (2006)

“Stop taking it literally—it's only the Bible, it's not gospel.”

Dara Ó Briain

On Christian fundamentalism
Dara Ó Briain: Live at the Theatre Royal (2006)

“If we were truly created by God, then why do we still occasionally bite the insides of our own mouths?”

Dara Ó Briain

Dara Ó Briain: Live at the Theatre Royal (2006)

“(on a line in the movie 2012) " 'The neutrinos have mutated.' Now, for the non-nerds here: neutrinos are tiny, sub-atomic, really really almost massless particles, they're released in nuclear breakdowns, like in the sun, for example. Five hundred trillion of them pass through your bodies every second. They can't mutate. Their structure is fundamental to the structure of the universe. Right? They can't just change. He might as well have gone, 'The electrons are angry'."”

Dara Ó Briain

Dara Ó Briain: This is the Show (2010)

Dara Ó Briain Quotes

“Right now I would take homeopaths and I'd put them in a big sack with psychics, astrologers and priests. And I'd close the top of the sack with string, and I'd hit them all with sticks. And I really wouldn't worry who got the worst of the belting with the sticks.”

Dara Ó Briain

Dara Ó Briain Talks Funny: Live in London (2008)

“Chinese medicine, oh, Chinese medicine! "But there are billions of Chinese, Chinese medicine must be working." Here's the skinny on Chinese medicine. A hundred years ago the average life expectancy in China was 30. The life expectancy in China at the moment is 73. And it's not feckin' tiger penis that turned it around for the Chinese. Didn't do much for the tiger, if you don't mind me pointing out.”

Dara Ó Briain

Dara Ó Briain Talks Funny: Live in London (2008)

Life

“Science knows it doesn't know everything; otherwise, it'd stop. But just because science doesn't know everything doesn't mean you can fill in the gaps with whatever fairy tale most appeals to you.”

Dara Ó Briain

Dara Ó Briain Talks Funny: Live in London (2008)

Science

“I'm sorry, 'herbal medicine', "Oh, herbal medicine's been around for thousands of years!" Indeed it has, and then we tested it all, and the stuff that worked became 'medicine'. And the rest of it is just a nice bowl of soup and some potpourri, so knock yourselves out.”

Dara Ó Briain

Dara Ó Briain Talks Funny: Live in London (2008)

“There are three states of legality in Irish law. There is all this stuff here under "That's grand"; then it moves into "Ah, now, don't push it"; and finally to "Right! You're taking the piss."”

Dara Ó Briain

And that's where the police sweep in.
Dara Ó Briain: Live at the Theatre Royal (2006)

Law

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