Christopher Titus: Man

Christopher Titus is actor, writer, podcaster. Explore interesting quotes on man.
Christopher Titus: 84   quotes 0   likes

“I don't think a man should EVER hit a woman….. until the 5th time she cracks him in the face.”

Christopher Titus

Norman Rockwell is Bleeding (2004)

Thinking , Time

“… And if you are a man wearing capri pants…? [Laughter] You need to take your guy card out of your wallet and pass it forward. Then… yeah, then, on the way home I want you to buy a tube of Vagasil, a VW convertible, and have your boyfriend drive you the rest of the way home, 'cause you are dismissed.”

Christopher Titus

Love is Evol (2009)

Way , Guy , Home , Laughter

“My father never missed a drink in his life. Or a joint. Or a party. Or a chance to get laid. He also never missed a day of work, or a house payment, or a car payment. I never went hungry, although he did a couple of times so I wouldn't. This is a man who survived four heart attacks. The doctors revoked his organ donor card and issued him a "Hazardous Waste" decal.”

Christopher Titus

Norman Rockwell is Bleeding (2004)

Life , Cars , Drink , Chance

“[about his mother] Without her I don't exist. Without her, I wouldn't be doing this for a living. Without her, in four states it would still be legal to kill a man with a cappuccino machine. She touched a lot of lives.”

Christopher Titus

Norman Rockwell is Bleeding (2004)

“So it seems that because of every syndrome and disorder we've invented in the past twenty years, the Los Angeles Times reported that 63% of American families are now considered dysfunctional. My God! That means we're the majority. We're normal! It's the people who have the mommy, the daddy, the brother, the sister, the little white picket fence — those people are the freaks, man!”

Christopher Titus

Norman Rockwell is Bleeding (2004)

God , People , Family , Angels

“And I want you to know something man, we all feel really bad that when you were in Troop 182 the Scout master rubbed your butt at the overnight jamboree. But what are you like 30 now? You've got life on backwards, come here let me flip it, there see, now your past is behind you. What's say you climb down off the cross use the wood to build a bridge and get over it.”

Christopher Titus

Norman Rockwell is Bleeding (2004)

Life , Feeling , Past , Scouting

“At the millennium we partied like it was 1999. And then we had a 10 year bathtub tequila hangover, man. Just hugging the metaphorical toilet on a daily basis.”

Christopher Titus

Neverlution (2011)