Bill Maher: Trending quotes

Bill Maher trending quotes. Read the latest quotes in collection
Bill Maher: 282 quotes4 likes

“To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click 'I agree'.”

Bill Maher

“Saying someone is religious is heard in most of America as a compliment, a reassuring affirmation that someone will be moral, ethical, and after a few glasses of wine, a freak in the bedroom.”

Bill Maher

Source: When You Ride Alone You Ride With Bin Laden: What the Government Should Be Telling Us to Help Fight the War on Terrorism

“Be out of the mainstream. I'm out of the mainstream. I enjoy it, who wants to be in the mainstream?”

Bill Maher

Victory Begins at Home (20 January 2004)
Context: Now if you're just out of the mainstream, if you don't have blind Bush love, you are somehow suspect. Don't ever let them tell you that. Be out of the mainstream. I'm out of the mainstream. I enjoy it, who wants to be in the mainstream? When Ronald Reagan was running, he would always say 'it's morning in America' and everybody would smile and I would think 'yeah but, I'm not a morning person'. I'm the guy who thinks religion is bad and drugs are good. I think children aren't innocent, god doesn't write books, and Jesus wasn't a republican. I think girls hate each other, no doesn't mean no and being drunk is funny. I'm for mad cow disease, how am I gonna win that? I'm against suing tobacco companies. I think abstinence is a perversion. I think Bush's lies are worse than Clinton's. I think Vegas was better when it was run by the mob. I think men are only as loyal as their options. I think stereotypes are true and rehab is for quitters.

“Don't you miss the days when America was just morally bankrupt?”

Bill Maher

But I'm Not Wrong (2010)
Source: Does Anybody Have a Problem With That? The Best of Politically Incorrect

“If it weren't for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.”

Bill Maher

“America really has no Left party. We have a center-right party -- which I would call what the Democrats are now -- and then we have the Republicans, a party that drove the Crazy Bus straight into Nut Town.”

Bill Maher

Source: Interview with the Oxford Union http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPb1VNt2EOo (25 May 2015)

“"Couples should explore their mutual fantasies." There's no such thing as a mutual fantasy. Yours bore us; ours offend you.”

Bill Maher

Victory Begins at Home (20 January 2004)

“Is it really a sport if you have all the equipment and your opponent doesn't know a game is going on?”

Bill Maher

On hunting; at PETA's "Stand-Up for Animals" show http://www.peta.org/blog/bill-maher-top-comics-stand-up-for-animals/ (Los Angeles' Comedy Store, 15 June 2014)

“Isn't he [Bush] the worst president ever? I mean, when his term is over, he has to walk back to Texas.”

Bill Maher

The Decider (21 July 2007)

“… even scarier is why people have stopped thinking global warming is real. One major reason, pollsters say, is, "we had a very cold, snowy winter". Which is like saying the sun might not be real because last night it got dark.”

Bill Maher

Episode 187, &quot;New Rules&quot; segment http://www.hbo.com/real-time-with-bill-maher/index.html#/real-time-with-bill-maher/episodes/0/187-episode/article/new-rules.html, June 4, 2010 <br class="br">Real Time with Bill Maher

“We have been the cowards, lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, that's not cowardly. Stupid maybe, but not cowardly.”

Bill Maher

Politically Incorrect (17 September 2001); this statement created controversies which resulted in this series being cancelled.

“We're going to get into partisan bickering because more than half of Republicans agreed with the statement that said Obama is trying to impose Islamic law on America. I mean that is a very radical thing to believe. And it's more than half of Republicans. Not tea baggers. Not radicals. The mainstream Republican people.”

Bill Maher

Larry King Live interview (2010)

“I think the guy was mostly a coke dealer, but I didn’t do coke. I never understood that drug. If you want to be edgy and nervous, go to work.”

Bill Maher

But I'm Not Wrong (2010)

“It's very sad how in the information age you cannot get information into people's heads. As long as you write something on the internet and do not add LOL — it is true. "I'm not sure he's a Christian" — I'm not sure he's a mammal, Jay. He could be a werewolf.”

Bill Maher

Source: Interview on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (13 September 2010)

“Charlton Heston… recently was re-elected president of the NRA for the third term. And they made an exception, because their charter, their constitution, says you can only have two terms, but they changed it. Ah. So constitutions can change. Interesting. Because it is called the Second Amendment. The word "amendment" itself means, "We had another thought! We re-thought something!"”

Bill Maher

Be More Cynical (2000)

“You know, if you're an American and you're born at this time in history especially, you're lucky. We all are. We won the world history Powerball lottery, but a little modesty about it might keep the heat off of us. I can't stand the people who say things like, "We built this country!" You built nothing. I think the railroads were pretty much up by 1980.”

Bill Maher

Victory Begins at Home (20 January 2004)

“You've got to give it up for our troops. The mission itself is hard enough, but then there's all sorts of backdoor drafts where they extend their tours, calling up the guard, the reserve; all these Enron accounting tricks so that Rumsfeld doesn't have to admit he got the troop levels wrong, and still they don't bug out. And I see this, and then I watch some reality show, and I see people who are peevish and selfish and greedy and narcissistic and lazy and stupid, and I think to myself, "Why is this first group of people defending this second group of people?"”

Bill Maher

I'm Swiss (2005)

“The Partnership for a Drug Free America? Please, make me laugh and gag at the same time with that title. They're a lobbying arm for the liquor and prescription drug industries. They don't want a drug-free America, they want an America free of the drugs that are their competition.”

Bill Maher

Prozac doesn't want to go up against marijuana, it will lose.
Be More Cynical (2000)