Bill Hicks: Trending quotes

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Bill Hicks: 200 quotes10 likes

“What are you reading for?”

Bill Hicks

“It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom.”

Bill Hicks

“(On drug laws): Isn’t that weird, we’ve made nature against the law. That’s how un-natural we’ve become.”

Bill Hicks

Relentless (1992)

“I deal only in facts, that's why I'm a cocky fuckin' bastard.”

Bill Hicks

Love, Laughter and Truth (2002)

“One time me and three friends dropped acid and drove around in my dad's car. He has one of those talking cars, we're tripping, and the car goes, "The door is ajar." We pulled over and thought about that for 12 hours. "How can a door be a jar?" … "Why would they put a jar on a car?" … "Oh man, the freeway's melting!"”

Bill Hicks

… "Put it in the jar."
Dangerous (1990)

“You ever look at their faces? "We're pro-life." Don't they look it? Don't they just exude joie de vivre?”

Bill Hicks

Filling Up the Hump (1993)

“[takes a drag of his cigarette] Mmmm mmmm, tastes like steak and potatoes doesn't it? Mmmm.”

Bill Hicks

Sane Man (1989)

“Wouldn't you like to see a positive LSD story on the news? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition? Perhaps? Wouldn't that be interesting? Just for once?"Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration – that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather."”

Bill Hicks

Sane Man (1989)

“You ever see that sign that says 'speed limit enforced by aircraft'? Wow. Man, you get pulled over by a plane, you're going to have a hard time talking your way out of that ticket. 'You know how fast you were going son?' Uh, 70? 'You were going 300 m. p. h. buddy, what the hell are you doing?' Sorry sir, I had that large coffee back at the truck stop — I'm fuckin' flyin'. HUGE coffee. I bought some dirt thought that would slow me down. Biggest motherfuckin' coffee you ever seen. He pumped it right up my nose. I'm just skin coverin' coffee right now.”

Bill Hicks

Sane Man (1989)

“All governments are lying cocksuckers.”

Bill Hicks

Philosophy: The Best of Bill Hicks (2001)

“Not all drugs are good, all right? Some of them … are great. Just gotta know your way around them, is all.”

Bill Hicks

Chicago '91 (1991)

“We have women priests now. What do y'all think of that, women priests? [scattered applause] I think that's fine. So what? Now we've got priests of both sexes that I don't listen to.”

Bill Hicks

Arizona Bay (1997)

“[on the Gulf War] I was in the unenviable position of being for the war, but against the troops.”

Bill Hicks

Love, Laughter and Truth (2002)

“(On the effects of Magic Mushrooms): “Your mind completely opens up to the true nature of our existence, which is that we are not bodies, that we are pure, loving spirit created by God. That God is love and there is nothing but love, being all-encompassing, has no opposite. You are completely forgiven on all things, there’s nothing you’ve ever done that has ever swayed God’s pure and un-conditional love for you. And you realize that eternity and peace and heaven is our inheritance, all of us are going to make it there.””

Bill Hicks

Relentless (1992)

“(On Standards & Practices): “Where are your standards?…. Stupid to retarded, is that the level of standards you’re trying to put out to America?””

Bill Hicks

Relentless (1992)

“I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, "Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest." This guy was reaching. I figure, if he could overcome being nailed to a cross, I don't think a Marlboro Light's gonna faze him that much.”

Bill Hicks

Dark Poet (1991)

“I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA…seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first. Iraq, 150,000, USA 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, "I did it! Hey!"”

Bill Hicks

Relentless (1992)

“The Greeks used to put a lot of bodily functions in their plays, and a lot of graphic sexual material, because they believed, that in performing that way it released the demons of shame from the audience, which is what I believe. Cuz I think we’re all pretty much the same, and we all have grown up with that shame-based thing that America deals with, right? And to sit there and hear someone talk about their love of having sex, whatever, makes you feel like you’re not alone, with what you think maybe are dark, twisted thoughts, cuz they’re not. We all share these thoughts. So that’s why I talk like I do, or did, before I retired tonight.”

Bill Hicks

Relentless (1992)

“People say to me, "Bill, quit bringing up Kennedy, man. Let it go. It was a long time ago. Just forget about it." All right, then don't bring up Jesus to me. I mean, as long as we're talking shelf-life here. "You know, Bill, Jesus died for you …" Yeah, it was a long time ago. Forget about it. How about this: get Pilate to release the fuckin' files. "Quit washing your hands, Pilate, and release the files. Who else was on that grassy Golgotha that day? Oh yeah, the three Roman peasants in $100 sandals. Yeah, right!"”

Bill Hicks

Arizona Bay (1997)

“Pot is a better drug than alcohol. Fact! … I'll prove it to you. If you're at a ball game or a concert and someone's really violent and aggressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot? [The crowd answers "Drunk."] Wow! We all know the truth.”

Bill Hicks

Source: Flying Saucer Tour Vol. I (2002)