Ambrose Bierce: Trending quotes (page 4)

“Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul.”

“Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.”

“Absurdity, n. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.”

“Optimist, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.”

“Alliance - In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.”

“Cabbage, n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.”

“DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.”

“ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.”

“Bride, n. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.”

“TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate.”

“Clarionet, n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments that are worse than a clarionet -- two clarionets.”

“Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.”

“God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.”

“Peace in international affairs: a period of cheating between periods of fighting”

“Fear has no brains; it is an idiot. The dismal witness that it bears and the cowardly counsel that it whispers are unrelated.”

“Birth, n. The first and direst of all disasters.”

“I was born to poor because of honest parents.”

“Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.”

“Think twice before you speak to a friend in need”