Groucho Marx idézet

oldal 3

„Nem lenne semmi baj ezzel az országgal, ha Truman még élne.”

„Van egy tolla? A másik nadrágomban felejtettem az írógépemet.”

„Úgy csillog a szemed, mint az alpaka öltönyöm nadrágja.”

„Az amatőr viccesnek tarja, ha egy férfit beöltöztetnek öreg hölgynek, tolószékbe teszik, aztán lelökik a lejtőn egy kőfalnak. A profinak egy igazi öreg hölgyre van szüksége.”

„Nem várhatják el a közönségtől, hogy lelkesedjen egy filmért, amelyikben a férfi főszereplő didije nagyobb, mint a női főszereplője.”

„Zabálok, mint egy keselyű. Sajnos ezzel nem ér véget a hasonlóság.”

„Ha még egy picit közelebb mennék hozzád, már a túloldalon lennék.”

„Pénz: jó, ha van. Nem kell olyasmit csinálni, amit nem szeretsz. Miután én szinte semmit sem szeretek csinálni, jó, hogy van.”

“Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world?
Woman: Really?
Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets me somewhere.”

“Before I speak, I have something important to say.”

“Here's to our wives and girlfriends… may they never meet!”

“I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed.

Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.”

“A man is only as old as the woman he feels.”

“A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.”

“Policeman: "A hermit eh? Then why's your table set for four?"

Groucho: "That's nothing. My alarm clock is set for eight.”

“Don't look now, but there's one man too many in this room, and I think it's you.”

“We'll meet at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat 'til you get there. Once you get there; you're on your own.”

“I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.”

“I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.”

“My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.”

“Hello, I must be going.”

“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.”

“The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.”

“If I hold you any closer I'll be in back of you!”

“Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.”

“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.”

“It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.”

“Any place I hang my head is home.”

“And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!”

“Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay,
I came to say, I must be going.
I’m glad I came, but just the same,
I must be going.”

“You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.”

“Chico: "Here's the book, it's a dollar"
Groucho: "Here's a ten, and shoot the change."
Chico: "I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.”

“Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.”

“The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?”

“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.”

“Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does”

“Would you mind getting off that fly paper and giving the flies a chance?"
"Ahhh, you can't trick me! Flies don't read papers!”