Groucho Marx idézet

„Nem lenne semmi baj ezzel az országgal, ha Truman még élne.”

„Van egy tolla? A másik nadrágomban felejtettem az írógépemet.”

„Úgy csillog a szemed, mint az alpaka öltönyöm nadrágja.”

„Az amatőr viccesnek tarja, ha egy férfit beöltöztetnek öreg hölgynek, tolószékbe teszik, aztán lelökik a lejtőn egy kőfalnak. A profinak egy igazi öreg hölgyre van szüksége.”

„Nem várhatják el a közönségtől, hogy lelkesedjen egy filmért, amelyikben a férfi főszereplő didije nagyobb, mint a női főszereplője.”

„Zabálok, mint egy keselyű. Sajnos ezzel nem ér véget a hasonlóság.”

„Ha még egy picit közelebb mennék hozzád, már a túloldalon lennék.”

„Pénz: jó, ha van. Nem kell olyasmit csinálni, amit nem szeretsz. Miután én szinte semmit sem szeretek csinálni, jó, hogy van.”

“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.”

“Humor is reason gone mad.”

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.”

“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them… well I have others.”

“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.”

“Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.”

“If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”

“Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it.”

“I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.”

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.”

“I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.”

“Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.”

“Marriage is a wonderful institution… but who wants to live in an institution?”

“When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”

“From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it.”

“Please accept my resignation. I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.”

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”

“If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.”

“I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.”

“Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while”

“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”

“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.”

“Time wounds all heels.”

“I don't have a photograph. I'd give you my footprints, but they're upstairs in my socks.”

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.”

“There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says "yes" you know he is a crook.”

“Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.”

“Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.”