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Jay Leno citations

James Douglas Muir Leno, né le 28 avril 1950 à Nouvelle-Rochelle dans l'État de New York, est un présentateur télé et humoriste satirique américain. Il était présentateur sur la chaîne NBC dans son propre talk show intitulé The Tonight Show de 1994 à 2009. Il présentera par la suite à l'automne 2009 sur le même réseau : The Jay Leno Show.

✵ 28. avril 1950
Jay Leno photo
Jay Leno: 35 citations0 J'aime

Jay Leno: Citations en anglais

“Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn't tell the truth, to Bill Clinton, who couldn't tell the difference.”

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Jay Leno

Monologue, 19 February 2007 (U.S. Presidents Day)
The Tonight Show

“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D. C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.”

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Jay Leno

“CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.”

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Jay Leno

“Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances.”

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Jay Leno

“The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular.”

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Jay Leno

“Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on Larry King, 'I wish I had bought stock in it.' Only a Republican would think the best part of Viagra is the fact that you could make money off of it.”

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Jay Leno

“Stephen Hawking is getting a divorce. That's scary. If the smartest guy in the world can't figure out women, we're screwed.”

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Jay Leno

Monologue, 20 October 2006
The Tonight Show

“How many watched the President's speech last night?
[half-hearted audience applause]
How many watched American Idol?
[thundering applause]
Okay, there you go! You get the government you deserve.”

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Jay Leno

Monologue, February 1, 2006
The Tonight Show

“Afterwards, President Bush said, "Maliki is the right man for the job." Just to remind you, Bush also said FEMA's Michael Brown was the right man for the job, Donald Rumsfeld was the right man for the job, Tom DeLay was the right man for the job… which would be okay if Bush was the right man for the job.”

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Jay Leno

On the 30 November 2006 "breakfast summit" with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki
Monologue, 30 November 2006
The Tonight Show

“This is now the twelfth day of rioting in France. They have been rioting for almost two weeks. And France has still not surrendered. That's like a record.”

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Jay Leno

The Tonight Show, November 7, 2005, as reported on miquelon.org
French Bashing and Francophobia

“In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we're doing anonymously.”

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Jay Leno

Said on a 2008 episode (12.7) of British motoring program Top Gear.
Miscellaneous

“Well, there's nothing funnier to me than the French. The French Resistance is probably the biggest mythical joke that ever existed. There were four guys in the French Resistance. They couldn't hand over the Jewish people fast enough. Oh, please, don't tell me about the French. The French have all sorts of secret deals with Saddam and everybody else for two cents a liter. It's an easy target.”

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Jay Leno

interview with Nikki Finke http://www.laweekly.com/ink/04/43/deadline-finke.php, LA Weekly, September 17, 2004 <br class="br">French Bashing and Francophobia

“A new poll shows that Americans now believe that Bill Clinton is more honest than President Bush. […] At least when Clinton screwed the nation, he did it one person at a time.”

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Jay Leno

Monologue, May 12, 2006
The Tonight Show

“Racecar driving is a lot like sex; all men think they're good at it.”

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Jay Leno

Said on a 2009 episode (13.7) of British motoring program Top Gear.
Miscellaneous

“How many of you watched the vice presidential debate expecting Sarah Palin to screw up? Be honest. [cheers and applause] : And how many of you watched the debate expecting Joe Biden to screw up? [more cheers and applause] : And how many of you watched the baseball game knowing the Cubs would screw up?”

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Jay Leno

more applause
Monologue, 6 October, 2008
The Tonight Show

“No, they said they do not believe in evolution, then they said the biggest threat to America: religious radicals living in the Dark Ages.”

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Jay Leno

Speaking of Sam Brownback, Mike Huckabee, and Tom Tancredo at the 3 May Republican Presidential debate
Monologue, 4 May 2007
The Tonight Show

“I didn't realize it was October until I saw the Chicago Cubs choking.”

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Jay Leno

Monologue, 4 October, 2008
The Tonight Show

“I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for "Running off to Canada."”

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Jay Leno

Monologue, June 24, 2005
The Tonight Show

“Congratulations to the Italian people for winning the World Cup. … They won after France’s best player got ejected for head butting. That’s the closest anyone in a French uniform has come to combat in 60 years”

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Jay Leno

The Tonight Show, July 11th, 2006
French Bashing and Francophobia

“Women will soon be able to make their own sperm using their own bone marrow. Is that unbelievable? How unfair is that for us guys, huh? I mean, all these years, we've been in charge of manufacturing and distribution, you know what I'm saying? We provide free delivery and installation…”

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Jay Leno

Monologue, 19 April 2007
The Tonight Show

“French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too soon. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them how to surrender properly.”

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Jay Leno

The Tonight Show, November 26, 2004
French Bashing and Francophobia

“[about the Chicago Cubs being swept by the L. A. Dodgers in the 2008 NLDS]: How about next year, we only let the Cubs play using steroids?”

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Jay Leno

Monologue, 7 October, 2008
The Tonight Show

“Folks, tomorrow America will get to hear those four words we've been waiting for: "Former president George Bush."”

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Jay Leno

Monologue, 19 January, 2009
The Tonight Show

“106 [degrees] in the valley… I was sweating like Dan Rather checking for forged documents.”

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Jay Leno

Monologue, September 10, 2004
The Tonight Show

“So China's president [Hu Jintao] meets, uh— meets America's president. It's like President "Who?" meeting President "Huh?".”

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Jay Leno

Monologue, April 19, 2006
The Tonight Show

“And as you know, this whole Hillary e-mail scandal brought Anthony Wiener back into the news. Now here's a question nobody has asked. Anthony Wiener is Jewish, right? Right? So does this scandal make him a Hebrew National Wiener?”

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Jay Leno

Guest monologue on The Tonight Show http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/jay-leno-takes-jimmy-fallons-867267, 31 October, 2016 <br class="br">The Tonight Show

“The economy is so bad, I saw Matthew McConaughey talking to himself in a Kia! THAT'S how bad it is!”

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Jay Leno

Guest monologue on The Tonight Show http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/jay-leno-takes-jimmy-fallons-867267, 3 April, 2017 <br class="br">The Tonight Show

“And some sad news… the first lesbian couple to legally get married in the state of Massachusetts has split up. They cited irreconcilable similarities.”

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Jay Leno

Monologue, 24 July 2006
The Tonight Show

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