The Guardian - The best God joke ever - and it's mine! (September 1980)
Emo Philips: 33 citations0 J'aime
Emo Philips: Citations en anglais
“When I was a kid my parents used to tell me, "Emo, don't go near the cellar door!"”
One day when they were away, I went up to the cellar door. And I pushed it and walked through and saw strange, wonderful things, things I had never seen before, like... trees. Grass. Flowers. The sun... that was nice... the sun..
EMO² (1985)
“I ran three miles today… finally I said, "Lady, take your purse."”
E=MO² (1985), A Fine How Ya Do
“I caught my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed. So I said, "Get off of me, you two!"”
GQ Magazine - 75 Funniest Jokes of All Time (June 1999)
“People come up to me and say, "Emo, do people really come up to you?"”
E=MO² (1985), A Fine How Ya Do
“I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen.”
E=MO² (1985), Track Two + Track Two continued
Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist (Episode 303)
GQ Magazine - 75 Funniest Jokes of All Time (June 1999)
E=MO² (1985), A Fine How Ya Do
As quoted in Psychology Today (July 2006)
“Ambiguity — the Devil's volleyball.”
E=MO² (1985), A Fine How Ya Do
“I like walking in the park… plucking out nose hairs. Those sleeping winos hate that.”
Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist (Episode 303)
“I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me.”
E=MO² (1985), Track Two + Track Two continued
“I'm not Catholic, but I gave up picking my belly button for lint.”
The Guardian - The best God joke ever - and it's mine! (September 1980)
But as I left that bar, one thing stuck in my mind...
E=MO² (1985)
The Guardian - The best God joke ever - and it's mine! (September 1980)
“So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.”
The Guardian - The best God joke ever - and it's mine! (September 1980)
The Guardian - The best God joke ever - and it's mine! (September 1980)
“My girlfriend always giggles during sex. No matter what she's reading.”
E=MO² (1985), Track Two + Track Two continued
“Well, my brother says "hello"! So, hooray for speech therapy.”
E=MO² (1985), A Fine How Ya Do
“Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.”
As quoted in The Fourth — And By Far The Most Recent — 637 Best Things Anybody Ever Said : Many Given Heightened Piquancy by Nineteenth-Century Line Cuts (1990) edited by Robert Byrne, 32
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