Bob Hope citations

“When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness.”

“You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”

“People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.”

“I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.”

“When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.”

“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.”

“I know I'm in England because this morning, my stomach got up two hours before I did and had a cup of tea! I've had so much tea, I slosh when I walk! You have to drink tea - I've tasted the coffee!”

“In his prime, the young comic walked onto a stage with the confidence of a man who owned it, and by the time he walked off, he did.”

“You mean like Democrats?”

“I was on the way to my hotel, and I passed a hotel going in the opposite direction.”

“Thanks to our brave allies: you gallant Russian bear, you British everywhere.”