ZMskyuza

“I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.”

“It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.”

“Can you see other people's battles as your own? There are so many similarities in every war in this world. Some are fighting for freedom and independence. Some fight for principles and ideals. But there are also those who fight only for their blind faith and ego.”

“In every battle, we don't always win. Perhaps we are defeated more often than not. We are made to hurt and suffer. We are made to cry and mourn each defeat, but we must not stop there. Because tomorrow there will be another battle. As long as we still have hope we must believe that one day we will win the battle. What can defeat us is the weakness of our own soul. We are not winners if we are unable to overcome our own fears and worries.”

“Can you see other people's battles as your own? There are so many similarities in every war in this world. Some are fighting for freedom and independence. Some fight for principles and ideals. But there are also those who fight only for their blind faith and ego.”

“If you smile when you are alone, then you really mean it.”

“I've learned…. That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.”

“The 50-50-90 rule: anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.”

“I've learned…. That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.”

“the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.”

“Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.”

“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly."
~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.”

“Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.”

“Ive had quite a few complaints lately from people who like it when I complain about things. They say I havent complained about anything lately. So tonight, for you complaint fans, I have a complaint.”

“I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.”

“I'd be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn't believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don't think it does.”

“It's a sad day at 60 Minutes and for everybody here at CBS News. It's hard to imagine not having Andy around. He loved his life and he lived it on his own terms. We will miss him very much.”

“I want to live my next life backwards: You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day. Then you get kicked out for being too healthy. Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension. Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're too young to work. You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous. Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities. Then you become a baby, and then… You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then… You finish off as an orgasm.”

“If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.”