xy

@xy, member from Sept. 25, 2023

Favourite quotes (21448)

“Apes had it worked out. No ape would philosophize, "The mountain is, and is not." They would think, "The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana.”

Terry Pratchett book Unseen Academicals

Source: Unseen Academicals

“One of the highlights of the first Good Omens tour was Neil and I walking through New York singing Shoehorn with Teeth. Well, we'd had a good breakfast. And you don't get mugged, either.”

Terry Pratchett (1948–2015) English author

Source: Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“That's the way it was. Privilege, which just means 'private law.' Two types of people laugh at the law; those that break it and those that make it.”

Terry Pratchett book Night Watch

Source: Night Watch

“Well done,' said a voice somewhere behind him. 'Consciousness to sarcasm in five seconds!”

Terry Pratchett book Night Watch

Source: Night Watch

“Them as can do, has to do for them as can't. And someone has to speak up for them as has no voices.”

Terry Pratchett book The Wee Free Men

Variant: Them as can do has to do for them as can't. And someone has to speak up for them as has no voices.
Source: The Wee Free Men

“The thing about stories is you have to pick the ones that last.”

Terry Pratchett (1948–2015) English author

Source: The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“Mr Lipwig, there's a lady in the hall to see you and we've thanked her for not smoking three times and she's still doing it!”

Terry Pratchett book Making Money

Source: Making Money

“Neither claimed any responsibility for Milton Keynes, but both reported it as a success.”

Terry Pratchett (1948–2015) English author

Source: Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“Vimes stalked gloomily through the crowded streets, feeling like the only pickled onion in a fruit salad.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

Source: Guards! Guards!

“If you had enough money, you could hardly commit crimes at all. You just perpetrated amusing little peccadilloes.”

Terry Pratchett book Men at Arms

Source: Men at Arms

“There were no public health laws in Ankh-Morpork. It would be like installing smoke detectors in Hell.”

Terry Pratchett book Feet of Clay

Source: Feet of Clay

“All things are defined by names. Change the name, and you change the thing.”

Terry Pratchett book Pyramids

Source: Pyramids

“God does not play games with His loyal servants", said the Metatron, but in a worried tone of voice.
"Whoopee", said Crowley.”

Terry Pratchett (1948–2015) English author

Source: Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“The dwarfs can turn lead into gold…
It reached the pointy ears of the dwarfs.
-Can we?
-Damned if I know. I can't.
-Yeah, but if you could, you wouldn't say. I wouldn't say, if I could.
-Can you?
-No!
-Ah-ha!”

Terry Pratchett book The Truth

Source: The Truth

“Don't, Miss Tick had said. things.”

Terry Pratchett (1948–2015) English author

“Who'd want a pony when you could have the whole universe? It was far more interesting and you didn't have to muck it out once a week.”

Terry Pratchett book Nation

Source: Nation

“There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.”

Terry Pratchett (1948–2015) English author

“Oh, well… up until now it had been a good day, in a horrible kind of way.”

Terry Pratchett book Nation

Source: Nation

“Little crimes breed big crimes. You smile at little crimes and then big crimes blow your head off.”

Terry Pratchett book Snuff

Source: Snuff

“The people who guard the rainbow don't like those who get in the way of the sun.”

Terry Pratchett book Going Postal

Source: Going Postal