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@xy, member from Sept. 25, 2023

Favourite quotes (21448)

“I wish I could make him understand that a loving good heart is riches enough, and that without it intellect is poverty.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

Source: The Diary of Adam and Eve

“A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

Source: Who Is Mark Twain?

“A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?”

Mark Twain book Pudd'nhead Wilson

Source: Pudd'nhead Wilson

“The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

This appears on the opening placard of the film The Equalizer, attributing it to Twain, but there is no evidence that Twain wrote it. A precursor is found in Taylor Hartman's self-help book The Character Code (first published 1991), where it is not attributed to Twain: "The three most significant days in your life are: 1. The day you were born. 2. The day you find out why you were born. 3. The day you discover how to contribute the gift you were born to give" ( Google Books link https://books.google.com/books?id=gIKCxWxNmeMC&pg=PA147&dq=%22day+you+find+out+why%22&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwijrJzc84vLAhUJzGMKHajvADEQ6AEIIjAB#v=onepage&q=%22day%20you%20find%20out%20why%22&f=false) Disputed

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“It's not the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

Anonymous American proverb; since 1998 this has often been attributed to Mark Twain on the internet, but no contemporary evidence of him ever using it has been located. Variants: It is not the size of the dog in the fight that counts, but the fight in the dog that matters. "Stub Ends of Thoughts" by Arthur G. Lewis, a collection of sayings, in Book of the Royal Blue Vol. 14, No. 7 (April 1911), cited as the earliest known occurrence in The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs, edited by Charles Clay Doyle, Wolfgang Mieder, and Fred R. Shapiro, p. 232 It is not the size of the dog in the fight that counts, but the fight in the dog that wins. Anonymous quote in the evening edition of the East Oregonian (20 April 1911) What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight — it's the size of the fight in the dog. Dwight D. Eisenhower, declaring his particular variant on the proverbial assertion in Remarks at Republican National Committee Breakfast (31 January 1958) http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=11229 Misattributed

“The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

Not found in Twain's works, this was attributed to him in Reader's Digest (September 1939): no prior attribution known. Mark Twain’s father died when Twain was eleven years old.
Disputed
Variant: When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

“Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“"Classic." A book which people praise and don't read.”

Mark Twain book Following the Equator

Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar, Ch. XXV
Following the Equator (1897)

“When a child turns 12, he should be kept in a barrel and fed through the bunghole, until he reaches 16 … at which time you plug the bunghole.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

Attributed to Twain but never sourced, this quotation should not be regarded as authentic.
Misattributed

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

Source: Notebook

“It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

Cited as an example of "What Mark Twain Didn't Say" in Mark Twain by Geoffrey C. Ward, et al.
Misattributed
Variant: It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.