M.attie

“I’ll never speak to God again.”

“Is there no way out of the mind?”

“I am gone quite mad with the knowledge of accepting the overwhelming number of things I can never know, places I can never go, and people I can never be.”

“There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.”

“I wait and ache.”

“I, to you, am lost in the gorgeous errors of flesh.”

“How we need another soul to cling to.”

“I am sure there are things that can't be cured by a good bath but I can't think of one.”

“Whenever I'm sad I'm going to die, or so nervous I can't sleep, or in love with somebody I won't be seeing for a week, I slump down just so far and then I say: 'I'll go take a hot bath.”

“I never feel so much myself as when I'm in a hot bath.”

“I'm doped and thick from my last sleeping pill.”

“What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless: well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle age.”

“I don’t care about anyone, and the feeling is quite obviously mutual.”

“Ever since I was small I loved feeling somebody comb my hair. It made me go all sleepy and peaceful.”

“I wanted to be where nobody I knew could ever come.”

“Eternity bores me,
I never wanted it.

From the poem "Years", 16 November 1962”

“Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.”

“The slime of all my yesterdays rots in the hollow of my skull.”

“I have a violence in me that is hot as death-blood.”