Billy Connolly idézet

„Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, "Did you fall?" He said, "No, I'm tryin' to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket."“

—  Billy Connolly

„That man (Ronald Reagan, who was President of the USA at the time), he sits at that desk in the White House, and the button is there that can end the world: BOOM! My father's younger than him and we don't give him the controls for the television!“

—  Billy Connolly

„Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time and you'll have the time of your life.“

—  Billy Connolly

„People die all the time. It's just that you're not around.“

—  Billy Connolly

„My wife said "I want to sell the house and buy a yacht". I said "What?! You do realise I live here? Comedian, Scottish guy. There's 3 kids over there, each have their own rooms. C'mon, I'll show you, they live here too."“

—  Billy Connolly

„My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don't eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.“

—  Billy Connolly

„There's nothing better than a fight, especially when you're watching it from a safe place. You can yell encouragement! Hit him with the left, he's a big Jessie!“

—  Billy Connolly

„I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing, so get yourself a sexy raincoat and live a little.“

—  Billy Connolly

Billy Connolly http://books.guardian.co.uk/departments/biography/story/0,6000,556340,00.html
Book Sources

„Don't buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They're bastards, and they do it on purpose.“

—  Billy Connolly

Billy Connolly by Nigel Huddleston, published June 2004.
Book Sources

„You've made a happy man very old.“

—  Billy Connolly

An Audience With Billy - 1985

„I came here on Concorde today… and I arrived before I fucking left!“

—  Billy Connolly

„Who the fuck are you? Get out of my house…and take that fucking bulldozer with you.“

—  Billy Connolly

„I leave you with a complaint. Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you've blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that… well, it's because the national anthem is boring.“

—  Billy Connolly

An Audience With Billy - 1985

„Recently, I turned 60… and even more recently, I turned 62. That was a bastard, I don't even remember the 61.“

—  Billy Connolly

„The religion in Scotland is one of the most patronising things… after the weather.“

—  Billy Connolly

An Audience With Billy - 1985

„Politically correct is the language of cowardice.“

—  Billy Connolly

An Audience With Billy - 1985

„Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex, and men need to have sex to feel loved, so the basic act of continuing the species requires a lie from one of you.“

—  Billy Connolly

An Audience With Billy - 1985

„(To audience members who were arriving late) You haven't missed a thing, I was just killing time 'til you got here.“

—  Billy Connolly

An Audience With Billy - 1985

„I used to be a folk singer, but I was… dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.“

—  Billy Connolly

An Audience With Billy - 1985