„Bob Holmes, the script editor, did laugh and filled his pipe so that he could create a smoke screen between us while he turned the idea down.“

—  Tom Baker

„Being poor is a little like having an earache over a Bank Holiday. All you can think about is the pain and how long it will be before a healing hand can be found to take away the anguish.“

—  Tom Baker

„Who was it that designed brown envelopes? I feel sure that he hated people whoever he was. I wonder where he's buried?“

—  Tom Baker

„Jim Acheson, our designer, told me I looked like his Auntie Wyn and I have never forgotten it. I wondered if it was the way I walked or wore my hat, but Jim just said that I had some indefinable air of an aunt. It was then I began to hope that one day I might play Lady Bracknell.“

—  Tom Baker

„But it was drama, high drama: fires at night, the fires that burned people's houses away; bombs fell and left exotically shaped fragments in the form of shrapnel. And we collected it and traded it. As long as we were not hurt -- and I wasn't -- life seemed wonderful.“

—  Tom Baker

Describing The Blitz

„The only imperfection in life then was that we didn't really have much money.“

—  Tom Baker

„The notion that God was everywhere put paid to any possible peace of mind by the time I was six.“

—  Tom Baker

„My old skill at self-delusion overrode my doubts as I told myself that Dexter probably believed in me. I could believe anything then. I still can as long as it is improbable.“

—  Tom Baker

„We are all quite capable of believing in anything as long as it's improbable.“

—  Tom Baker

„Once a man next to me found the handle of a radiator in his mashed potato; he said nothing, merely moving it to the side of his plate after sucking the mashed potato off it first. Nobody else said anything either. If the truth was known several of us were probably jealous.“

—  Tom Baker

Describing army food.

„The chaos of our lives suited me; I don't think I wanted it to end.“

—  Tom Baker

„It was in the church that I got to love shadows and dark corners, musty cupboards and creaking floorboards. I was a perfect recruit for the Addams family. Cobwebs made me whimper with joy.“

—  Tom Baker

„Living in an institution, rumours of change can make life more bearable, and starting rumours can be a wonderful pleasure for those without much hope. The National Theatre was like that.“

—  Tom Baker

„He told me he was having the time of his life and then fell to the floor unconscious. I didn't take this too personally, although he was not the first person to collapse while talking to me; to tell the truth it has happened quite often.“

—  Tom Baker

„"Stay calm, sir," I cried. "Don't excite yourself, it could mean death." He took me at my word and instantly fell inert. I didn't know whether he was obeying me or had died.“

—  Tom Baker

While working as a hospital orderly.

„One tortured soul I know who suffers from amazingly premature ejaculation -- I mean so premature that he hasn't got any children after eleven years of marriage -- was told by the priest that it was probably a blessing in disguise. What a piece of advice to give to a poor sod who comes off at the sound of his wife's car in the drive.“

—  Tom Baker

„Tom Fleming, the eldest, was said to look like King George V, and indeed, was often mistaken for His Majesty when in the vicinity of Scotland Road, Anfield Road or Lime Street. Why people would suspect that the King might be working in Tate and Lyle's sugar factory is beyond me, but there you are.“

—  Tom Baker

„One of the astounding qualities of that family was their capacity to fill innocent bystanders with thoughts of murder.“

—  Tom Baker

Describing one set of his in-laws.

„The poor don't really like that ticket. They are desperate to get away and join the rich, and have glossy hair, bright eyes and white teeth. The rich live longer and can afford to be charming.“

—  Tom Baker