xy

@xy, member from Sept. 25, 2023

Favourite quotes (21448)

“When I was a naive young recruit in Spain, I used to wonder why soldiers bayoneted oil paintings, shot the noses off statues and defecated into grand pianos. I now understand: it was to teach civilians the deepest sort of respect for men in uniform — uncontrollable fear.”

Kurt Vonnegut Happy Birthday, Wanda June

"Harold Ryan"
Happy Birthday, Wanda June (1970)

“I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all.”

Kurt Vonnegut book The Sirens of Titan

Source: The Sirens of Titan (1959), Chapter 11 “We Hate Malachi Constant Because...” (p. 253)

“They're playin our song Gene!”

Kurt Vonnegut book Hocus Pocus

Hocus Pocus (1990)

“They are being treated, as I never was, like toys a rich kid got for Christmas.”

Kurt Vonnegut (1922–2007) American writer

Cold Turkey (2004)
Context: Human beings are chimpanzees who get crazy drunk on power. By saying that our leaders are power-drunk chimpanzees, am I in danger of wrecking the morale of our soldiers fighting and dying in the Middle East? Their morale, like so many bodies, is already shot to pieces. They are being treated, as I never was, like toys a rich kid got for Christmas.

“[Freedom of speech] isn't something somebody else gives you. That's something you give to yourself.”

Kurt Vonnegut book Hocus Pocus

Hocus Pocus (1990)

“Here’s what I think the truth is: We are all addicts of fossil fuels in a state of denial, about to face cold turkey. And like so many addicts about to face cold turkey, our leaders are now committing violent crimes to get what little is left of what we’re hooked on.”

Kurt Vonnegut (1922–2007) American writer

Cold Turkey (2004)

“Do you think Arabs are dumb? They gave us our numbers. Try doing long division with Roman numerals.”

Kurt Vonnegut book A Man Without a Country

A Man Without a Country (2005)

“The big trouble with dumb bastards is that they are too dumb to believe there is such a thing as being smart.”

Kurt Vonnegut book The Sirens of Titan

Source: The Sirens of Titan (1959), Chapter 5 “Letter From an Unknown Hero” (p. 127)

“Some of the loudest, most proudly ignorant guessing in the world is going on in Washington today. Our leaders are sick of all the solid information that has been dumped on humanity by research and scholarship and investigative reporting. They think that the whole country is sick of it, and they could be right. It isn't the gold standard that they want to put us back on. They want something even more basic. They want to put us back on the snake-oil standard.”

Kurt Vonnegut book A Man Without a Country

A Man Without a Country (2005)

“You couldn't help that you were born without a heart. At least you tried to believe what the people with hearts believed — so you were a good man just the same.”

Kurt Vonnegut book Jailbird

Jailbird (1979)

“Like all real heroes, Charley had a fatal flaw. He refused to believe that he had gonorrhea, whereas the truth was that he did.”

Kurt Vonnegut book God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater

On Charley Warmergran, the Fire Chief of Rosewater.
God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater (1965)

“Love is where you find it. I think it is foolish to go looking for it, and I think it can often be poisonous.”

Kurt Vonnegut book Slapstick

Prologue
Slapstick (1976)

“Son—they say there isn’t any royalty in this country, but do you want me to tell you how to be king of the United States of America? Just fall through the hole in a privy and come out smelling like a rose.”

Kurt Vonnegut book The Sirens of Titan

Source: The Sirens of Titan (1959), Chapter 3 “United Hotcake Preferred” (p. 65; epigram)

“Our awareness is all that is alive and maybe sacred in any of us. Everything else about us is dead machinery.”

Kurt Vonnegut book Breakfast of Champions

Breakfast of Champions (1973)

“The telling of jokes is an art of its own, and it always rises from some emotional threat. The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.”

Kurt Vonnegut (1922–2007) American writer

Interviewed by J. Rentilly, "The Best Jokes Are Dangerous" http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2002/09/16vonnegut1.html, McSweeny's (September 2002) <br class="br">Various interviews

“This silly playlet seemed to satisfy them completely as a picture of what they were doing, why they were doing it, and who was against them, and why some people were against them. It was a beautifully simple picture these procession leaders had. It was as though a navigator, in order to free his mind of worries, had erased all the reefs from his maps.”

Kurt Vonnegut book Player Piano

Source: Player Piano (1952), Chapter 21 (p. 212)

“Shrapnel was invented by an Englishman of the same name. Don't you wish you could have something named after you?”

Kurt Vonnegut (1922–2007) American writer

I Love You, Madame Librarian (2004)

“I asked Rob Roy where he had gone to college.
"Yale," he said.
I told him what Helen Dole said about Yale, that it ought to be called "Plantation Owners' Tech."
"I don't get it," he said.
"I had to ask her to explain it myself," I said. "She said Yale was where plantation owners learned how to get the natives to kill each other instead of them."”

Kurt Vonnegut book Hocus Pocus

Hocus Pocus (1990)

“If I'd been born in Germany, I suppose I would have been a Nazi, bopping Jews and gypsies and Poles around, leaving boots sticking out of snowbanks, warming myself with my secretly virtuous insides. So it goes.”

Kurt Vonnegut book Mother Night

Introduction (1966)
Mother Night (1961)

“Doctor Paul Proteus, son of a successful man, himself rich with prospects of being richer, counted his material blessings. He found that he was in excellent shape to afford integrity.”

Kurt Vonnegut book Player Piano

Source: Player Piano (1952), Chapter 13 (p. 132)