xy

“I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“It is sound judgment to put on a bold face and play your hand for a hundred times what it is worth; forty-nine times out of fifty nobody dares to call it, and you roll in the chips.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“I don't want no better book than what your face is.”

Mark Twain book Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

“I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“Everytime I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“Work like you don't need the money. Dance like no one is watching. And love like you've never been hurt.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“He was sunshine most always-I mean he made it seem like good weather.”

Mark Twain book Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

“How often we recall with regret that Napoleon once shot at a magazine editor and missed him and killed a publisher. But we remember with charity that his intentions were good.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.”

Mark Twain book Life on the Mississippi

“The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“Man - a figment of God's imagination.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“Words are only painted fire, a look is the fire itself. She gave that look, and carried it away to the treasury of heaven, where all things that are divine belong.”

Mark Twain book A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court

“The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the characters; the good to succeed, the bad to fail. The trouble with most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell together, as quickly as possible.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“The average man don't like trouble and danger.”

Mark Twain book Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

“Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“Human pride is not worthwhile; there is always something lying in wait to take the wind out of it.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

“Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist